One of the many perks of being a foreigner at a Japanese university is that the college receives several free local cultural event tickets each month specifically for non-Japanese students to enjoy. It's generally first come first serve via email and I try and pounce on the opportunities as soon as I see them. Last year I was able to attend the symphony in downtown Tokyo for free and it was incredible! Last month I was one of the lucky students to nab Kabuki tickets and the performance was last Friday night.

Seeing Kabuki theatre has been on our list of things to do while in Japan so Sean wanted to go too. We figured that we'd go together and then try to buy his ticket upon arrival. When we got to the performance hall near Shibuya, we went in the student line together and I asked where I could buy a ticket for Sean. After conferring with her supervisor, the lady checking student IDs and handing out tickets just gave us another ticket for free! I couldn't believe it! We felt very fortunate and excited.



Kabuki theatre is a combination of dance, drama and dialogue. It's famous for elaborate makeup, scenery and dramatic stories. All of the actors are men and several fill the roles of women. We had arrived at 5pm since the show started at 5:30. We had no idea what we were in for, what type of play we were seeing or what the schedule was. Though we were handed a program, it was completely in Japanese but we stayed hopeful that we could follow along with the actions and scenery at least.

The show started promptly at 5:30 and the first thirty minutes appeared to be some kind of dance ritual preparing for war. There was commentary before and after this scene by a male and female announcer who stood off to the side. After this act, there was an intermission of thirty minutes. Sean and I thought that maybe we were already halfway through the show! Boy, were we wrong.



The next few acts consisted of various men dancing with fans in what looked like fighting scenes. There were singers and musicians off to each side of the stage who provided the background music. These dancing scenes went on until 7:30 when there was another intermission of 30 minutes. At this point we started to question how much was left and I began to be suspicious when I went to the restroom and saw hordes of audience members chowing down on food from the hall vendors as well as on food that they brought.

The show started up again at 8pm and this time it was pure theatre with dramatic dialogue and acting. It was extremely hard to follow along but there was some romance, some murders and plenty of fighting. Apparently, there was also some humor along the way as everybody laughed except us who felt a bit lost. At about 9pm when our stomachs were growling, we considered leaving but decided to stick it out.  The show finally ended at 9:30 at which point we quite literally jogged out of the hall in search of food.



Though I'm glad we were able to experience Kabuki, neither of us are too eager to sit through a four hour performance again. Since we had always wanted to try Taco Bell in Japan, we headed to the only one which was near the performance hall and dined on overpriced tacos, nachos and beers (they sell beer at Taco Bell in Japan!). Overall, it was a funny evening and date night - though the culture was interesting the Japanese style American fast food was the undeniable highlight.

A few weeks ago I received an email from MISHOP (Mitaka International Society for Hospitality), a local community group, asking if I wanted to participate in their annual "bride dressing" for foreigners. I received the email because I'm part of the group of foreigners that meets with retired Japanese people in the Mitaka community to practice Japanese. I quickly responded back saying that I would love to participate and reserved that Saturday afternoon in my calendar.



Last week, when I met with one of my tutors, she suggested that Sean come along and wear a suit so that we could take "Japanese wedding" pictures together. I was completely on board with the idea but wasn't sure that Sean would be too whipped out about it. Fortunately, he agreed and yesterday we spent the afternoon learning about (and experiencing firsthand) the time, energy and patience it takes to get ready for a Japanese wedding.


The photo shoot was held in a traditional Japanese house that is now a community center and museum. The building was beautiful and had three tea rooms and a garden in the center. Sean had to do a lot of waiting around since the gown dressing process was quite lengthy.  When it was my turn to enter the dressing room they first worked on my hair for about 30 minutes. I was scolded a bit for not putting on any makeup. She braided my hair into some kind of side bun and then pinned flowers in it. I was not allowed to wear earrings.



Then I had to strip down and three older Japanese ladies got right to work on me. They kept exclaiming that they could not believe how tall I was (them came up to my armpits). The process involved lots of complicated layers, pins, straps, corsets and belts to hold all the layers in place. I started sweating because of all of the clothes and also because I had three women in close proximity constantly tugging, grunting and shifting things around on me. I had to put on the special socks that separate your big toe from all of the rest. The last step was to don the beautiful wedding kimono.





The kimono itself was extremely heavy and took all three ladies to lift it and put it on me. They are very expensive and most Japanese brides rent one instead of buying their own. The fabric was incredibly ornate, detailed and colorful. When I asked the ladies why I was bound up in so many layers that I could hardly move they said, "It's because if the bride doesn't like the groom or his family she can't run away even if she wants to" and then they all laughed. I'm not sure if they were kidding or not.





After everything was in its place, I was escorted out to the photo corner. I had to have help to walk and sit down since moving was extremely difficult and I had to take tiny steps. We got some pictures together and then I went back into the changing room and have to take everything off again. It was quite the experience and I'm looking forward to showing my tutors the photographic results!

Sean and I have been on a bit of a tiny appliance shopping spree and it's been so much fun (even if every edible product from said machines are mini versions of the American size).  Some of the appliances we found used at second hand stores and others we got at the local "J-Mart". My favorite one is the waffle maker which makes mini waffles about the size of your palm. It has been nice for making relaxing bunches on the weekend and also for making extra batches, freezing them and then toasting them in the oven for weekday breakfasts in a rush.



Our second purchase was a tiny air popper. We don't have a microwave and microwave popcorn isn't really a thing here so when we saw the popcorn maker we snatched it up. It makes a small bowl of popcorn and can hold 1/4 cup of seeds. Our most recent purchase was a tiny pink electric hand mixer which we've already put to use making Halloween cookies and cupcakes. It's called "La La Cute" which seems appropriate. One might think that tiny appliances should logically lead to smaller portions without even trying but so far this is proving to be untrue. Let the holiday baking commence!

Last Friday Sean finished two weeks of work with English Adventures, a company that seeks to combine outdoor education with English language immersion. He spent the first week with middle schoolers and the second with high schoolers. Sean spent most of the program leading short backpacking and camping trips and also doing a bit of kayaking instruction while at base camp. He had a lot of fun and is hoping for some more contract gigs with the company. English Adventures' bread and butter is summer camps but this year they are looking to increase their business into other seasons. The two week autumn camp was their first experience partnering with local international schools to offer an intensive field trip. The future potential in cooperating with international schools in Tokyo has many fun and lucrative possibilities.



This winter they are going to attempt an English immersion ski camp for the first time. They asked Sean to be one of the winter outdoor education leaders and he told me that he really wanted to do it. The problem is, the ski camp runs from December 24 to January 7 (my winter break) and for me, the thought of being alone in Tokyo over the holidays was not very appealing at all.  Thus, Sean inquired about the need for female ski instructors and found out this week that we were both hired to work together at ski camp. Spending Christmas and New Years with twenty staff and one hundred and fifty adolescent snow bunnies sounds very relaxing and romantic, right? In any case, I'm sure it will be an "adventure"!

I know that I've said a few times that living in Tokyo is expensive - more expensive than any other place that we have been before. But it's hard to imagine just how pricey it is to live here without some kind of perspective. That being said, after summers spent outside of the country, Sean and I have both been re-shocked by how much money we have to spend in order to do the things we want to do. Combing through our weekend receipts and entering them in the budget we remembered how quickly wallets are emptied in the city.  Here's a glance at our weekend dollar by dollar so you can get a taste of what it's like to live in the Asian version of the Big Apple.

This is the Suica card that you can use to buy anything such as: metro fare, convenience store purchases, bike parking and vending machine items

Friday

Sean returned from two weeks at camp so we decided to go out to dinner (something we don't do very often and you'll soon see why). We went to Craft Brewing Co. in Kichijoji, which is about 15 minutes away by bus or two stops on the metro. The level of quality, relative price and atmosphere is like New Holland Brewing or Founders Brewing in Michigan with good food and a variety of different beers to try. We decided to take the bus because it's cheaper then paying for the metro and paying to park our bikes.

Bus ride return tickets for two people = $10
Normal meal with three beers apiece = $130 (and that's without a tip - they don't tip in Japan)

The gates where you swipe your card to enter/exit the metro

Saturday

We had planned weeks in advance to take a day trip with our local hiking group to a mountain outside of Tokyo. Here's the breakdown of how much this simple day trip cost.

Bike ride to metro station - bike parking for two people for one day = $2
Two coffees and two rolls for breakfast = $15
Bought food for sack lunches at 7-11 (one apple, two sandwiches, two chips, one chocolate) = $28
Two metro tickets to the station to get to the base (one way tickets for two people) = $30
One way bus tickets to get from the station to the trailhead for two people = $20
Group participation fee for two people = $6
Admission fee to the public baths for two people = $15
One way bus tickets for two people to get back to the station = $20
Night train metro tickets to get from mountain station to home station one way for two people = $60
Two bowls of ramen = $16

Hiking trip total = $196 (!!)
Weekend total (excluding Sunday) = $336 (!!)

The machines where you add money to your Suica card

Japan's steep prices are the biggest limitation for us to do anything besides stay in our apartment. This also explains why we didn't do any traveling together last year - it was way out of our budget. Most of the cost is due to the high prices of food, drinks and transportation. We haven't stayed at a hotel while we've been here as it's impossible to find a room under $100. This year we have a little bit of money saved and are hoping to do one or two bigger trips and several smaller one or two day adventures. There are always really cool events and social outings happening and it's been difficult to choose which ones we should definitely attend and which we should skip. Although the hiking day trip ended up being very expensive for us (but a normal expense in Tokyo) we were happy we went because of the chance to hang out with Japanese friends, learn about a new place and get out of the city for the day. The great weather, beautiful colored leaves and group conversation were worth every penny.

Clubs are everything in Japan. Your clubs define your friends, identity, interests and dictate how you spend your time. The club culture both at the university and in the community is something I've never seen anywhere else. The loyalty, commitment and energy given to clubs by their members is unparalleled. It's not that common to spontaneously hang out with one's friends but rather attend a pre-planned and organized club event.


Yesterday, Sean and I went hiking with our community hiking club. The event was planned weeks in advance and was very organized and included such amenities as route maps and fresh fruit for everyone all for the participation fee of about three dollars. It's very popular to go hiking in Japan and it felt like everyone else in the entire city decided to descend upon the mountains as the trains and trails were crowded with gear-clad trekkers.



We were lucky and ended up with a beautiful day and incredible colors of the leaves. As we climbed higher and higher the more the leaves changed. Before the hike we had obligatory group stretching and then individual greetings and introductions to the new members. It took a few hours to get to the top where we had a group photo and lunch. When the clouds started rolling in we began to make our way down and on the way happened to see a fox!



After a long and tiring hike down we walked to the bus stop where half of the group split to go to onsen (warm hot springs) and the other half opted to go back home. Although a warm community bath would have felt divine, Sean and I were ravenous and because the journey back to the city was about two hours, we hopped on a train dreaming about a warm bowl of ramen at our home station.



That morning we had gotten up at 5:40 to make it to the base in time and arrived home exhausted. We were asleep by 9:30pm. Although I'm not sure I would subscribe so strongly to the club culture in my own country, as a foreigner in Japan it's a fantastic opportunity to meet new people, see different places and try new things in an organized and friendly fashion. I hope that wherever you are you're able to enjoy the beautiful colors of nature as well!

The other morning I was walking to the post office with an armful of newsletters that I had to mail out. On the way, I saw a beautiful butterfly wing on the ground and stopped to take a picture of it. I really wanted to take it with me but as I was in a hurry and had no place to put it, I gave up and rushed to mail out my envelopes.

Fast forward to late afternoon of the same day when I returned home after a day at ICU. Sean had already taken off to frisbee practice but he had left me an envelope on my desk that said, "Look inside". Inside the envelope was, you guessed it, the same butterfly wing that I had seen that morning.  Amazingly, he had also seen it on the walk to the store and had somehow known that I would love it. It's times like that when I remember that the total years Sean's been in my life outnumber the ones that he hasn't.


I remembered the butterfly wing today as I completed a personality test that a good friend forwarded along and encouraged trying. I ended up being labeled as INFJ-T "Advocate" and the description of this personality type was eerily accurate. In the "Romantic Relationships" section the explanation reads, "Advocates will take the time necessary to find someone they truly connect with - once they've found that someone, their relationships will reach a level of depth and sincerity that most people can only dream of."

I read another article today about how to "raise a trailblazing daughter" and among the many suggestions the last one was, "Pray that they marry the right person." Eighty-three year old Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg weighs in on some of the suggestions and adds that she would have never made it to the supreme court without her husband. "He sacrificed for me - moving from New York to Washington, for example, and getting rid of potentially lucrative investments that could have created conflicts of interest for me. Plus, he did all the cooking."

Married housing is located on the top floor of the all female dorm at ICU and I'm known as "Sean's wife" since I'm never there and if he's not working or playing frisbee Sean's always in the dorm using something in the communal kitchen or walking to and from the laundry room. I was introduced to a new Chinese dorm tenant and while trying to explain who I was and where I lived she stopped me and said, "You're married to Sean; we all think he is very kind and handsome." I get asked about our marriage all of the time and I usually try to explain Sean's ability to deal with my anxiety, mood swings, stress and subpar communication skills by the fact that he grew up with sisters and had to take care of his mom a lot while she was sick.

Truth be told, I don't know why or how Sean is the way he is but I'm thankful that he's in my life. A future filled with more butterfly wing moments makes me happy, relieved and incredibly grateful.

The rest of my time in South Korea was more fun than I was expecting. Both Jenni and I presented on Thursday and it went really well. Many professors from the ICU Education Department attended our session and gave lots of valuable feedback. The conference provided lunch and then a fancy dinner which was preceded by some entertainment consisting of some traditional Korean music.


The next day I got up early to accompany Dr. Jung and Dr. Sasao to another city in Korea for a campus visit. A committee in the department is working on a research project to study the current situation of liberal arts colleges in East Asia and comparing them with those in the West. They've already published one book on this topic and are working on a second. I was lucky to be asked by Dr. Jung to co-write a chapter with her and even more excited when she asked if I wanted to accompany the research group to Handong Global University in Pohang, South Korea.

Lunch at the conference

Presenting on global issues in the language classroom

For me, this project has been a great fit since I attended a small liberal arts college (Hope College) which also happens to be one of the college that ICU has taken an interest in. ICU is interested in modeling Hope's First and Senior Year Seminar classes as well as its comprehensive and high quality faculty orientation and professional development program. Not only do I get to learn how to do social science research but I actually get paid to be a research assistant thanks to the grant writing skills of Prof. Jung. During the trip to Handong, this involved me writing copious notes, making interview voice recordings and sending follow-up thank you emails.

Seoul Station

KTEX bullet train - so nice!

I felt right at home at Handong and was able to ask a lot of relevant questions because their main partner college in the U.S. is Calvin College - what a small world! The dean and I hit it off right away since she had spent years at Calvin studying how the college operated before she became one of the founding members of Handong. After a day full of meetings, interviews and tours of the college, we were treated to a fantastic Korean dinner in something called a "House" restaurant which is exactly what it sounds - someone opens up a few tables right out of their home and cooks a variety of homemade foods.  There is no menu - you just show up and get served.

Inspiring banners at Handong University

The next morning we took Korea's version of the bullet train back to Seoul (about 2.5 hours) and I spent the rest of the day with a few other graduate students doing some shopping in the city's incredible alleys filled with stores, restaurants, street food, performers and, of course, giant fuzzy animals.

View from my hotel room in Pohang

That night we took a cheap red eye flight back to Tokyo (never doing that again - totally not worth it) and then slept in the airport until the first bus left for the city at 6:05 am. I got home right as Sean got back from a morning's work of voice recording for a company making a translation app for the Olympics. We saw each other for an hour as Sean quickly did laundry, packed and left for one more week in the mountains working for an outdoor adventure English immersion camp.

Stopping for ice cream treats while souvenir shopping

Jenni posing with a panda in Seoul

Jenni and I on the early bus

Last night, another graduate student and I hopped on a redeye flight to Seoul to spend the rest of the week and weekend at an education conference with many other students and faculty from the International Christian University's education department. The title of the event is the "International Conference on Education Research" (ICER) and it's held at the Seoul National University. Last year, many of us submitted proposals to be able to present and also received some grant money to help with the funding of the trip.

Icy green noodles - not my favorite

Jenni and I arrived in Incheon Airport at about 4:30 in the morning and caught the first bus to the university. From there we took a cab to our hotel and promptly crashed until about noon.  We attempted to get some lunch, but without language skills we ended up with bowls of cold noodles, eggs and ice cubes and then walked to the convention center where we listened to the opening session of the conference.

Posing on campus

After spending a few hours at a cafe on campus working on our presentations for the next day, we joined the rest of the ICU group for a Korean BBQ dinner.  Fortunately, some of the faculty are Korean and they not only helped us with what we should order but also how to cook and eat everything. Korean BBQ is delicious and I remember how impressed I was with it last time Sean and I were in the country. There's heaps of tiny side dishes and sauces which are combined with cooked pork and fresh lettuce leaves into bite-sized wraps of goodness. After buying some plug adaptors at the nearest convenience store, we headed back to the hotel for more work on our presentations and additional catch-up on sleep.

Impressive BBQ spread

Being in Seoul is kind of surreal; in many ways it feels like being in Tokyo except that I can't speak any of the language or read any of the writing. The other two things that I noticed right away is that this country actually has trash cans everywhere (and they aren't separated into many categories) and that it's not nearly as expensive as Japan. What a relief!

How to eat Korean BBQ